The Death of the Turn Signal

I am officially declaring it: the turn signal, as we know it, is dead.

I’ve been witnessing its slow decline in Halifax over the past several years, and I think it’s now safe to say that consistent use of car blinkers when turning has transitioned from palliative to terminal.

I mean, why would anyone use one anyway? It’s completely for the benefit of others. It doesn’t do you any good if you’re driving – you know you’re turning. And, really, who cares about making sure other people know why you’ve stopped dead in the middle of the road?

I see this epidemic of failure to signal when driving as emblematic of a deeper social ill. It’s hugely symbolic of our growing social isolation and our increasing lack of empathy for our fellow human beings.

Or maybe there are just more crappy drivers out there – I don’t really know. What am I, a sociologist?

My personal theory about what’s happening is that certain models of cars are now being manufactured without blinkers. Jettas, in particular, don’t seem to have them at all. But perhaps that’s just an issue of driver demographics.

Alright, so it’s time to offer solutions. Just complaining about it probably isn’t going to solve the problem, so I’ve taken to the interweb for help.

I’ve found a website called useyourblinker.com, which is simply a single page that says nothing but, “Use your blinker. It’s free. Bee-Otch.” Instructive, but not particularly helpful, I guess.

Coolpeoplecare.org (“Saving the world, 5 minutes at a time”) has lots to say about signaling. “From time to time,” the website chirps cheerfully, “we like to remind folks of the regular things they can do that make everyone happy. …It's time to add your blinker to that list. For some of you, it may be the least-used part of your vehicle. You can change that by employing its signaling features whenever you want to turn or change lanes. Make sure you don't pull the trigger too soon, and always turn it off once you turn. Feel free to send this along to a friend who you know could use a reminder.”

There, how proactive is that? You can use your turn signal as a way to make people happy and to spread peace and joy throughout the universe. Wow.

But my favourite signaling site is ehow.com, which lists a full set of instructions called “How to use your turn signal.” The complex instructions are, as follows: “(1) Locate the lever on the left side of the steering column. (2) Push down to turn left. (3) To signal a right turn, push the lever up. (4) Once you have moved the lever up or down, an arrow light will begin blinking on the dashboard. (5) The signal will automatically turn off after you have made the turn, in most cases, but if it doesn't, move the lever back to its central, neutral position.”

For real! Consider yourself informed.

And now that there’s no question about it’s proper operation, perhaps we can all resurrect the humble turn signal from its resting place on the great dashboard in the sky.
Blink on, my newly-educated friends. Blink on.