Please don't share

Let’s talk about germs.

I don’t like ‘em. I’m not particularly interested in them. And I’m really not interested in anyone else’s. Do you see where I’m going with this?

The other day I was shopping when a gentleman turned toward me and sneezed. Into the air. The air that I was breathing. Did he make any attempt to cover his mouth? No. Have you seen those science shows where they show how far and fast those droplets spew? Well, I have.

Sometimes when a stranger-sneeze happens right in my space I try not to breathe for a few seconds but then when I do, I just suck air in harder, so that probably just defeats the purpose.

Anyway, just for future reference, could I please make a suggestion, sir? Just, you know, cover your mouth? And not with your hand, because then you’re just going to touch something with your germy mitt. How about sneezing into your elbow next time? That would really be appreciated.

I know everybody probably thinks this is just common sense, but I’m constantly amazed by how un-common it is to see people actually covering their mouths when they cough or sneeze. And I’m talking adults here, although kids can be among the worst (and grossest) offenders.

I’m virus-phobic, and I admit it. But listen to this, I am not making this up. (If you’re eating breakfast while you read the paper, I heartily apologize.) A while ago I was taking a class and a thirty-something guy seated at the conference table next to me kept sniffling and sniffling. I was about to offer him a tissue when he suddenly put his hand to his nose and then blew his nose into his hand and then wiped his hand on the table. A grown man! An adult person! In public! I was speechless. And felt a little ill, needless to say. How is it that we’ve managed not to succumb to the pandemic when people behave like this in public spaces?

And while we’re on the subject of other peoples’ bodily fluids, I have a question. How many times in one day should a civilized person in a modern, progressive society have to listen to the sound of a man horking up a giant phlegm-ball and spitting it onto the ground behind her?

Because this weekend I had that delightful experience twice, and one of those times was coming out of that lovely upscale craft market. The other time was in the Wal-mart parking lot, so, OK.

I know the spitting thing isn’t exactly risky in terms of germ transmission, but it’s even more disgusting than the open-faced sneeze. But the most disgusting of all? Those people who blow their noses right onto the sidewalk. I mean, come on! I’m sorry I had to bring it up, but I’ve been forced to witness this way too often lately.

So what can I do to protect myself from such a careless world of mucous-loving virus-spreaders? Well, I went to the doctor and got myself a flu shot, so that’s something. And I wash my hands pretty often – especially when I come back home from the grocery store. And I carry a bunch of little vials of that hand-sanitizer stuff in my bag, and in my car. Short of wearing a mask, I’d say I’m doing just about all I can to keep myself from getting sick.

All I can ask is that others find it in their hearts during this cold and flu season to keep their germ-laden secretions to themselves. May I suggest a tissue?

(This post was previously published in my weekly column "Don't Get Me Started" in the HRM West Community Herald.)