Is it Me, or Are You All Just Lousy Drivers?

Have people forgotten all the rules they learned in order to get their drivers' licenses? I’m thinking maybe a little constructive criticism might be in order. You know, in the interest of promoting change. So here, in the spirit of enlightenment, are my top five everyday driving annoyances.

One. You’re waiting at a red light in the left-hand lane. Traffic can either go left or straight from this lane. You are not signaling and I am waiting behind you to go straight. The light turns green and now is the moment you decide you will put your left turn signal on. And I’m stuck behind you, since the right-hand lane is full of cars happily streaming by as they go straight. Why? Why do you not signal until you’re in the middle of the intersection? The turn signal is designed to let other drivers know what your intentions are. Special note to BMW drivers: it’s the little stick thingy to the left of the steering wheel.

Two. I am pulling up to the top of my street, which ends in a “T”-shaped junction. I’m about to turn right. You are cruising down the top of the “T” from my right and intend to turn onto my street. But you’ve started the curve of your left turn about 30 meters from where you intend to actually turn, so you are casually cruising right through the top of my lane as I arrive. You look surprised. “Other people drive here?” You make a big jerky (and I do mean jerky) correction around me, and look either sheepish or annoyed as you swerve. See you again tomorrow.

Three. You’ve just pulled up to a four-way stop. A few seconds later, I pull up to the same intersection. I wait for you to take your turn. You don’t. You have no idea what to do. Apparently you think you are just supposed to wait for everybody else. More people pull up. You refuse to move. I make eye contact, toot the horn, make a little wavy motion with my hand. Nothing. Now no one knows whose turn it is. We all start to go at the same time. Except you. You are still wondering why all these dang people have stopped when you’re the one with the stop sign.

Four. I am traveling, at a safe and cautious speed of course, straight through a green light. You come roaring up on the street to my right, keen to turn right, directly into my lane. You seem to have no intention of slowing down or coming to a stop or in any way yielding to the traffic that’s already in the intersection, even though you are facing a red light. And because you’re not even looking my way, I have to a) brake hard or b) swerve away from you. Dude, just because you know you’re probably going to stop doesn’t mean I know you’re probably going to stop. Because the other day, you didn’t, and you nearly ended up with three thousand pounds of Matrix in your face.

Five. You’re in a hurry, I know. But it’s rush hour and I am in the middle of a busy intersection, awaiting a chance to turn left. Only one car in my lane gets through every light, and it’s always on the yellow. Still, as you come toward me and notice that the light has changed, you opt to gun it and cruise straight through. I am left hanging, on the red, in the middle of the intersection. Perhaps karma later gives you a flat tire, or an upset stomach, or … I don’t know, a twinge of guilt. Perhaps not. Does karma really concern itself with commuters?