One of the more ubiquitous "green" goals is to get more of the citizens of every sprawling municipality out of their cars and onto public transit. But a recently-released study by GPI Atlantic indicated that, despite the fact that 90% of urbanites and suburbanites live within half a kilometer of a transit stop, 78% of Haligonians are still commuting by car. According to the report, “This indicates that transit, although in close proximity to the majority of the population is not presently considered a desirable mode of transportation to work.”
Not desirable? What could be going on here? This claim clearly demands some primary research. Unfortunately, I don’t really commute anywhere, since I work from home most of the time, but just for fun I’ve taken up the challenge of riding the bus –– and what fun it is!
First of all, I have to point out that I find the number of sideways-facing seats (23 by my count) versus the number of forward-facing seats (I put this at 13) on the newer buses problematic, because I am a delicate flower, prone to motion sickness. I need to face forward, and that means I have to sit with the “bad kids” at the back of the bus. Well, actually, I kind of enjoy sitting with the bad kids, but not with the really bad kids who sit in the very back seats. Those kids are BAD. I myself am only a moderately bad kid, more or less a wannabe.
Also on the downside, I’ve discovered that several of my fellow travelers have some fairly annoying transit-related habits.
For example, there’s usually someone who chooses to sit on the outside edge of a forward-facing seat when every other seat on the bus is full. To this person I say: “Move in. Don’t make me give you the stink-eye.” Also, if I may say, your backpack is lovely and everything, but I really don’t think it needs a seat all to itself.
I’ve also noticed that there’s usually at least one fellow sitting on a shared seat who’s apparently so handsomely endowed that he has to keep his legs splayed wide for the entire trip, no matter how many people try to squish in beside him. Or maybe he finds it painful to bring his knees together, in which case I think there’s a prescription cream he can get for that.
Some of my comrades in commuting seem to have different boundaries than I do, particularly when it comes to personal space. No doubt many regular bus riders have met “the passenger who sits too close.” I mean, way too close. Yesterday, the guy who sat next to me was actually leaning on me, and no matter how small I made myself (and despite, once again, the stink-eye) he just kept hogging up whatever empty space I managed to temporarily create between us.
What have I learned from riding the bus? Well, I know now - from many overheard cellphone conversations - that drawing class sucks and photography is awesome. Also, somebody’s roommate is stealing money from him, and someone else is worried about failing her math exam and not getting into teachers’ college.
And finally, I have to mention the dear old woman I saw yesterday who kept demanding that people carry her purse for her as she got on and off the bus. As much as it made me cringe, it also warmed my heart to see that Halifax is still the kind of town where you can hand your purse over to strangers and always assume you’ll get it back.
Maybe the secret to increasing ridership is to market public transit as an entertainment medium. Who needs TV with all this real life happening right under your nose?
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Scrubcheeking. You Heard It Here First.
You, my dear readers, are nothing if not constantly poised on the cutting edge of whatever fad is currently pinging around cyberspace. So I was pretty sure you’d be interested in this as soon as I saw the headline: “Be a rock star. Try sleevefacing.”
The so-called “social networking trend” that is “sleevefacing” involves “one or more persons obscuring or augmenting any part of their body or bodies with record sleeve(s) causing an illusion.” That’s according to sleeveface.com. I’d define it a bit more precisely as “one or more stoned dudes hold album covers over their faces and find it hilarious.” Quick, get the camera.
Anyway, what I find so confounding about “sleevefacing” is that it’s simply someone’s privately goofy behaviour that’s been assigned a name – and has thus evolved into a website and a Facebook page with a few thousand members. And perhaps as importantly, one of the wire services has written a story about it, which has been picked up by newspapers, and bingo – it’s now a “phenomenon.” I have a name and a Facebook page, therefore I am.
So I guess in order to create a phenomenon, all you need to do is coin a term that represents your phenomenon - preferably a compound word that may or may not involve a pun. Like this one I read recently:
“Relax at home,” said the newspaper headline. “Enjoy your staycation.” A “staycation” would be, of course, a vacation where you stay at home. Get it? And it rhymes. Which makes it even more etymologically fabulous.
I can play this game. I see myself starting trendy behaviours which will catch on like wildfire. My verbal gymnastics will catapult me into cult-like status among fad-watchers and fashionistas.
Here’s how it will go down. First, every morning, likeminded thinkers will rise, and, as I do, start their day with a little bit of “spewsponging.” (I have a cat that hasn’t been feeling well lately, so there are usually a few puked-up surprises on the living room rug when I get up in the morning.) No longer will barf cleanup be a disgusting chore. Once it has a catchy name, it will be in vogue!
Next, we’ll make coffee and spend a few minutes “slurpcupping” before we hop in the shower for some “scrubcheeking.”
If we decide not to step onto the bathroom scales today, we will take a “weighcation.” If we take the day off for a religious holiday, we will call it a “praycation.” A little extramarital dalliance on the side will be referred to as a “straycation.” Or perhaps a “betraycation.” And skipping dance class will become a “swaycation.”
Grocery shopping will never be as dreary again, once we discover how cool it is to go “stocknoshing.” And if we need a little more retail therapy, perhaps we can head over to the mall for some “spendlaxing.” How hip are we?
The once-dull task of vacuuming the dog hair from the living room rug will take on the panache of the newly-christened activity known as “suckfurring.” This phenomenon might even have spin-off trends such as “shampooching” and “brushbitching.”
Okay, we’ve created the language – now let’s get out there and start using it! We’ll put this blog on the map as a hotbed of verbal trendification. Don’t forget to post pictures of yourself doing all these activities on Facebook. I’m off to set up the “scrubcheeking” page right now.
The so-called “social networking trend” that is “sleevefacing” involves “one or more persons obscuring or augmenting any part of their body or bodies with record sleeve(s) causing an illusion.” That’s according to sleeveface.com. I’d define it a bit more precisely as “one or more stoned dudes hold album covers over their faces and find it hilarious.” Quick, get the camera.
Anyway, what I find so confounding about “sleevefacing” is that it’s simply someone’s privately goofy behaviour that’s been assigned a name – and has thus evolved into a website and a Facebook page with a few thousand members. And perhaps as importantly, one of the wire services has written a story about it, which has been picked up by newspapers, and bingo – it’s now a “phenomenon.” I have a name and a Facebook page, therefore I am.
So I guess in order to create a phenomenon, all you need to do is coin a term that represents your phenomenon - preferably a compound word that may or may not involve a pun. Like this one I read recently:
“Relax at home,” said the newspaper headline. “Enjoy your staycation.” A “staycation” would be, of course, a vacation where you stay at home. Get it? And it rhymes. Which makes it even more etymologically fabulous.
I can play this game. I see myself starting trendy behaviours which will catch on like wildfire. My verbal gymnastics will catapult me into cult-like status among fad-watchers and fashionistas.
Here’s how it will go down. First, every morning, likeminded thinkers will rise, and, as I do, start their day with a little bit of “spewsponging.” (I have a cat that hasn’t been feeling well lately, so there are usually a few puked-up surprises on the living room rug when I get up in the morning.) No longer will barf cleanup be a disgusting chore. Once it has a catchy name, it will be in vogue!
Next, we’ll make coffee and spend a few minutes “slurpcupping” before we hop in the shower for some “scrubcheeking.”
If we decide not to step onto the bathroom scales today, we will take a “weighcation.” If we take the day off for a religious holiday, we will call it a “praycation.” A little extramarital dalliance on the side will be referred to as a “straycation.” Or perhaps a “betraycation.” And skipping dance class will become a “swaycation.”
Grocery shopping will never be as dreary again, once we discover how cool it is to go “stocknoshing.” And if we need a little more retail therapy, perhaps we can head over to the mall for some “spendlaxing.” How hip are we?
The once-dull task of vacuuming the dog hair from the living room rug will take on the panache of the newly-christened activity known as “suckfurring.” This phenomenon might even have spin-off trends such as “shampooching” and “brushbitching.”
Okay, we’ve created the language – now let’s get out there and start using it! We’ll put this blog on the map as a hotbed of verbal trendification. Don’t forget to post pictures of yourself doing all these activities on Facebook. I’m off to set up the “scrubcheeking” page right now.
Friday, April 11, 2008
I Have Me One Darned Cute Dog
...and she was one of 50 finalists (out of 15,000 entries) in the "Canada's Cutest Pets" photo contest:
http://www.canadianliving.com/life/pets/photo_gallery__canadas_cutest_pets_2008-14.php
http://www.canadianliving.com/life/pets/photo_gallery__canadas_cutest_pets_2008-14.php
Friday, April 4, 2008
Tales from the Bargain Hunter
“For sale – One stuffed Bear. $7. Must See.”
That was one of my all-time favourite buy-and-sell ads. First of all, who would go to the trouble of listing a single stuffed toy? And if they’re going to go to all that trouble, could they maybe be a little more descriptive? And who in heaven’s name would think, “Yeah, I should call them up and go have a look at that...”?
Sometimes I read the buy-and-sells purely for their comedy value. The hilarity tends to fall into in some very specific categories. Check out this selection of actual listings, mostly from this week’s Bargain Hunter.
Our first theme: Something Spells Bad.
- Approved building lot, driveway and colbert [sic] installed. (I think they mean a “culvert,” not a late-night comedian.)
- Set of Wall Scones [sic], asking $100. (Not sure how they taste after they’ve been hanging on the wall like that, but OK...)
- Accomadations [sic] Wanted. For Professor who spends evenings working in her office. Family or person with spare foom [sic] would be ideal. (Hopefully she’s not an English professor.)
- For Sale: Brown Leather Coach [sic]. (Perhaps he’s spent too much time in the sun with the team.)
- Good Working Fridge. Woks [sic] Great. (Well, which is it? Does it wok good, or does it wok great?)
- Wanted to Buy Two Used Kayakis [sic]. (I think a “Kayaki” is a sort of brownish-green-colored kayak.)
- George Foreman Roasting Grille [sic]. (After you make dinner, you attach it to the front of your Cadillac.)
- Room in Quite [sic] Non Smoking Scent Free House. (Like we said, it’s a fairly non-smoking scent-free house.)
- Duplex for Rent – 8 mins walk to Supper [sic] Store. (Well, that is what you’re probably going to buy there.)
- Wanted: Border [sic] to Share Lakehouse. (New Brunswick or Maine borders welcome to apply.)
- Johnny Cash CD – “House of Cash” with 24 songs by Johnny accompanied by he’s [sic] guitar. Its [sic] a collectors [sic] item. (Where to start? Well, for one thing, I wonder how “he’s” guitar enjoyed accompanying him?)
- Valley Bull Dog 2 yrs old. Spaded [sic]. (No doubt it hurt when they whacked that poor dog with the shovel.)
This was under “Rentals”. It was also listed under “Wanted”:
- 45 Yr. Plus Female Professional, excellent references. (She actually did go on to say she was looking for a place to live. But her opening line kind of threw me.)
And I can only classify these ones as “Huh…?”:
- Roommate Wanted: Prefer a Female or Male. (But OK with anything else, I guess.)
- 2000 Johnson 3 cyl, 35 HP long shaft for parts. (This fellow is selling his long-shaft Johnson. He could get arrested for that, couldn’t he?)
- Kitchen Table, 4 chairs, 1 broken. (Wouldn’t that be “Kitchen Table, 3 chairs”?)
- 2.5 HP Treadmill, used very little, selling for health reasons. (Yeah, once they get rid of that guilt-inducing, unused treadmill, they’ll feel a lot healthier.)
- Wanted: Anything that Anyone wants to Give Away for Free. (Dude, have I got a basement full of crap for you.)
- New Futon Like New 8 Months Old. (Which is it - “New,” “Like New,” or “8 Months Old”?)
- Oxygen Making Machine. (Don’t we usually call these “trees”?)
- I would like some big cheap rabbit cages, free if possible. (And fast! For some reason I keep needing more…)
- Want to purchase old or damaged aluminum boat. (Floating apparently not a requirement.)
- Pellet Gun – will trade for any kind of real gun or something else of value. (My guess is that giving this guy “any kind of real gun” would be a mistake.)
- Wanted: Low priced handguns. (See above.)
Okay, and just one more category: the Department of Colorful Redundancy Department.
- Large Snow Scoop. Blue in color. (As opposed to Blue in shape.)
- New London Fog Jacket, Brown in color. (As opposed to Brown in smell.)
- Recliner Chair new condition. Pink in color. (I think you get my drift.)
- Oval Hardwood Table and Chairs, Honey Maple in color. (Well, that one actually could have been a flavour.)
Okay, one final listing, along with a word of advice.
- For sale: One diaper pail, $5.
Personally, I think this is one item that might be worth buying new.
That was one of my all-time favourite buy-and-sell ads. First of all, who would go to the trouble of listing a single stuffed toy? And if they’re going to go to all that trouble, could they maybe be a little more descriptive? And who in heaven’s name would think, “Yeah, I should call them up and go have a look at that...”?
Sometimes I read the buy-and-sells purely for their comedy value. The hilarity tends to fall into in some very specific categories. Check out this selection of actual listings, mostly from this week’s Bargain Hunter.
Our first theme: Something Spells Bad.
- Approved building lot, driveway and colbert [sic] installed. (I think they mean a “culvert,” not a late-night comedian.)
- Set of Wall Scones [sic], asking $100. (Not sure how they taste after they’ve been hanging on the wall like that, but OK...)
- Accomadations [sic] Wanted. For Professor who spends evenings working in her office. Family or person with spare foom [sic] would be ideal. (Hopefully she’s not an English professor.)- For Sale: Brown Leather Coach [sic]. (Perhaps he’s spent too much time in the sun with the team.)
- Good Working Fridge. Woks [sic] Great. (Well, which is it? Does it wok good, or does it wok great?)
- Wanted to Buy Two Used Kayakis [sic]. (I think a “Kayaki” is a sort of brownish-green-colored kayak.)
- George Foreman Roasting Grille [sic]. (After you make dinner, you attach it to the front of your Cadillac.)
- Room in Quite [sic] Non Smoking Scent Free House. (Like we said, it’s a fairly non-smoking scent-free house.)
- Duplex for Rent – 8 mins walk to Supper [sic] Store. (Well, that is what you’re probably going to buy there.)
- Wanted: Border [sic] to Share Lakehouse. (New Brunswick or Maine borders welcome to apply.)
- Johnny Cash CD – “House of Cash” with 24 songs by Johnny accompanied by he’s [sic] guitar. Its [sic] a collectors [sic] item. (Where to start? Well, for one thing, I wonder how “he’s” guitar enjoyed accompanying him?)
- Valley Bull Dog 2 yrs old. Spaded [sic]. (No doubt it hurt when they whacked that poor dog with the shovel.)
This was under “Rentals”. It was also listed under “Wanted”:- 45 Yr. Plus Female Professional, excellent references. (She actually did go on to say she was looking for a place to live. But her opening line kind of threw me.)
And I can only classify these ones as “Huh…?”:
- Roommate Wanted: Prefer a Female or Male. (But OK with anything else, I guess.)
- 2000 Johnson 3 cyl, 35 HP long shaft for parts. (This fellow is selling his long-shaft Johnson. He could get arrested for that, couldn’t he?)
- Kitchen Table, 4 chairs, 1 broken. (Wouldn’t that be “Kitchen Table, 3 chairs”?)
- 2.5 HP Treadmill, used very little, selling for health reasons. (Yeah, once they get rid of that guilt-inducing, unused treadmill, they’ll feel a lot healthier.)
- Wanted: Anything that Anyone wants to Give Away for Free. (Dude, have I got a basement full of crap for you.)
- New Futon Like New 8 Months Old. (Which is it - “New,” “Like New,” or “8 Months Old”?)
- Oxygen Making Machine. (Don’t we usually call these “trees”?)
- I would like some big cheap rabbit cages, free if possible. (And fast! For some reason I keep needing more…)
- Want to purchase old or damaged aluminum boat. (Floating apparently not a requirement.)
- Pellet Gun – will trade for any kind of real gun or something else of value. (My guess is that giving this guy “any kind of real gun” would be a mistake.)
- Wanted: Low priced handguns. (See above.)
Okay, and just one more category: the Department of Colorful Redundancy Department.
- Large Snow Scoop. Blue in color. (As opposed to Blue in shape.)
- New London Fog Jacket, Brown in color. (As opposed to Brown in smell.)
- Recliner Chair new condition. Pink in color. (I think you get my drift.)
- Oval Hardwood Table and Chairs, Honey Maple in color. (Well, that one actually could have been a flavour.)
Okay, one final listing, along with a word of advice.
- For sale: One diaper pail, $5.
Personally, I think this is one item that might be worth buying new.
Halifax's Low Rise vs. High Rise Debate
At the moment, I’m parked at the top of Citadel Hill, the only car in sight - which, in itself, is making me feel a little weird and creepy - even though I’m totally just looking at the view. But the pedestrians that occasionally pass by are giving me odd looks and I have this strange urge to roll down the window and holler “I’m sight-seeing!” Not that I need to explain myself. Why should I explain myself? It’s a free country.
Anyway, so I’m sitting here, taking in the view in all its glory. And I’m thinking, “Why would anyone fight to maintain this? This is the ugliest skyline I have ever seen.”
I mean, look at it. If low buildings are what some people are interested in preserving, can we talk about the Metro Centre? A full city block of gravel-roofed grey, and really, it’s the focal point of the view from the Citadel’s little look-off.
When experts talk about “view planes,” what is it that they want people (presumably tourists, mostly) to be able to see from Citadel Hill? Is it the harbour? Why? There are a million better places to get a view of the harbour besides Citadel Hill. Is it the downtown waterfront? That’s already blocked off anyway. Is it our impressive city skyline? Well, let’s talk about that skyline.
I know Halifax has an identity crisis. What are we – big or small? What do we want to be – hip or comfy? Fast or slow? Tomorrow or yesterday?
But a city isn’t a city without architecture. Big, bold buildings are beautiful. A well-designed downtown high-rise can be way more aesthetically pleasing to look at than, say, the oil refinery in Dartmouth. And the more well-designed tall buildings there are downtown, the better, in my opinion.
What’s the most impressive thing you can see from Citadel Hill? It’s probably the Macdonald bridge – because of its scale; because it’s a remarkable work of design and engineering. And that white office building with the lush-looking terraces is nice, too. And that’s about it.
You know that feeling you get when you’re driving into a big city, and it’s night, and suddenly you can see the downtown and it’s all tall buildings and it’s all lit up? (I know, I know, all those lit-up office towers are killing the planet.) Well, I wish I could get a little more of that feeling when I’m coming over the bridge from Dartmouth. Is that wrong?
Leaving out the important issues of economics and population density and even heritage, if all we are concerned about is how the city “feels”… it feels to me like a city that’s stuck in the 70’s. Sort of like the Farrah Fawcett of cities. Like Peter Frampton had designed it all and then just left. Like we’re waiting for the Captain and Tennille to come and modernize the place a bit.
I’m all for moving Halifax forward. So come on, Halifax. Maybe I’ll give Pat Benatar a call and see if she can’t at least help us bring this city into the 1980’s.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
I'm Watching You
Hey, was that you walking up Henry Street just now with your black puffy-coat on and carrying that heavy-looking backpack? I guess you must be coming from class or something.
Or was that you driving in the white mini-van down University Avenue a few seconds ago? Maybe you just dropped somebody off at the library or the Student Union Building.
Perhaps that’s you taking a stroll down on the waterfront, just past the Cable Wharf. It’s a cold day for a walk, and there’s a bit of snow on the ground, but the sun is out. Better you than me, though. I’m just sitting here all nice and warm in front of my computer, watching you.
It does feel a little creepy, even if – technically – I’m not doing anything wrong. These images of public spaces around Halifax are available on the internet for anyone, anywhere in the world to enjoy.
Police surveillance and closed-circuit cameras aside, just how much of the area around Halifax is already available to me via cameras that stream images straight to the web?
It turns out – quite a bit. In fact, you can find a definitive guide to all these sites at wright.chebucto.net/view.html. Some of these cameras simply offer long-shot scenic views. For example, you can get a good look at the traffic in Halifax Harbour from the top of Fenwick Place at webcam.chebucto.net.
If you’ve been wondering what the waterfront looks like from the Westin or Alderney Gate today, cameras are refreshed every ten seconds at halifaxwebcam.ca.
There are also some really useful cameras posted by the Nova Scotia Department of Transportation (gov.ns.ca/tran/cameras/camera.asp) that allow you to see highway weather conditions all across the province before you hit the road.
But while I’ve been checking out these webcams, I’ve haven’t only been watching ships and cars; I’ve also been people-watching. The little family of three at the waterfront has no idea I’m watching them right now.
And there are other webcams around town that are aimed directly at places people pass through. There’s a camera mounted in little cul-de-sac just off Northwest Arm Drive (users.eastlink.ca/~akovalko/) that I can watch 24-7 if I feel like it. And you’d better be on your best behaviour when you pass by the corner of University Avenue and Henry Street! There are a couple of live streaming cameras (cs.dal.ca/cam/index.shtml) that allow anyone to watch your every move from a few floors up inside the Dal Computer Science building.
There is an almost-live webcam (at myconnect.ca) with an excellent time-lapsed view of Argyle Street and the entrance to Neptune Theatre. Look at you two coming from the direction of the coffee shop with your giant cups of coffee. So cute together! Hey, are you going into the hotel?
If you’re far away and want to see a little piece of home, I’m sure it’s comforting to look in on your favourite places. But I guess it makes me vaguely uncomfortable to be watching people when they don’t know I’m watching them. If it’s you that I’m watching right now, do you care?
Or was that you driving in the white mini-van down University Avenue a few seconds ago? Maybe you just dropped somebody off at the library or the Student Union Building.
Perhaps that’s you taking a stroll down on the waterfront, just past the Cable Wharf. It’s a cold day for a walk, and there’s a bit of snow on the ground, but the sun is out. Better you than me, though. I’m just sitting here all nice and warm in front of my computer, watching you.
It does feel a little creepy, even if – technically – I’m not doing anything wrong. These images of public spaces around Halifax are available on the internet for anyone, anywhere in the world to enjoy.
Police surveillance and closed-circuit cameras aside, just how much of the area around Halifax is already available to me via cameras that stream images straight to the web?
It turns out – quite a bit. In fact, you can find a definitive guide to all these sites at wright.chebucto.net/view.html. Some of these cameras simply offer long-shot scenic views. For example, you can get a good look at the traffic in Halifax Harbour from the top of Fenwick Place at webcam.chebucto.net.
If you’ve been wondering what the waterfront looks like from the Westin or Alderney Gate today, cameras are refreshed every ten seconds at halifaxwebcam.ca.
There are also some really useful cameras posted by the Nova Scotia Department of Transportation (gov.ns.ca/tran/cameras/camera.asp) that allow you to see highway weather conditions all across the province before you hit the road.
But while I’ve been checking out these webcams, I’ve haven’t only been watching ships and cars; I’ve also been people-watching. The little family of three at the waterfront has no idea I’m watching them right now.
And there are other webcams around town that are aimed directly at places people pass through. There’s a camera mounted in little cul-de-sac just off Northwest Arm Drive (users.eastlink.ca/~akovalko/) that I can watch 24-7 if I feel like it. And you’d better be on your best behaviour when you pass by the corner of University Avenue and Henry Street! There are a couple of live streaming cameras (cs.dal.ca/cam/index.shtml) that allow anyone to watch your every move from a few floors up inside the Dal Computer Science building.
There is an almost-live webcam (at myconnect.ca) with an excellent time-lapsed view of Argyle Street and the entrance to Neptune Theatre. Look at you two coming from the direction of the coffee shop with your giant cups of coffee. So cute together! Hey, are you going into the hotel?
If you’re far away and want to see a little piece of home, I’m sure it’s comforting to look in on your favourite places. But I guess it makes me vaguely uncomfortable to be watching people when they don’t know I’m watching them. If it’s you that I’m watching right now, do you care?
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Beige Vinyl Siding: Crime Against Humanity?
Neighbors, consider this a call to arms. A call to reject uniformity, conformity, and mediocrity. Brothers and sisters, resist the urge of the lowest common denominator.
Are we talking about Stephen Harper’s government? No. Movies that star Adam Sandler? No.
This scourge is much more insidious. And it’s spreading around us as we speak.
It’s a trend I refer to as the “homogenization of the ‘hood.”
My part of Halifax is made up largely of quaint little pre-fab houses - mostly bungalows - that were built around the time of WWII. Folks who have lived around here longer than I have say the houses were built for the workers contributing to the war effort.
There’s nothing particularly significant about these homes, but each is unique in its own small way. They have a kind of “retro” aesthetic and they’re still relatively cheap compared to a lot of homes, so when they go up for sale, they tend to get snapped up pretty quickly.
But with the sale of every cottage-y little home, I grow more and more disheartened. Because inevitably, here is what’s going to happen:
First, the new owners will tear off the old asbestos shingles (…I know!). Then they’ll gut the place and add a storey or two. (…Okay, that makes sense.) But then – and this happens on a far too regular basis – they’ll wrap the whole darn thing in the ugliest substance known to humankind: beige vinyl siding.
These revamped studies in brown often have nothing that makes them unique. No welcoming porch. No creative focal points. Teeny little windows. In short, they are watertight boxes with no character whatsoever. Sure, these weren’t gorgeous Victorian homes to start with, but does everybody have to go with the most insipid, utilitarian exterior possible?
The more of these unimaginative homes that pop up around me, the more depressed I get. Who wants to live in a neighborhood full of beige – sorry, “Sandalwood” - blandness?
I guess I shouldn’t be so judgmental. Maybe some people choose beige vinyl because it’s, like, their favourite.
But it does seem kind of ironic that just as this city is becoming more conscious of design issues and aesthetics – particularly in the downtown core - those of us in the residential neighborhoods are left to watch helplessly as our whimsical little homes are slowly becoming… well, boring.
Are we talking about Stephen Harper’s government? No. Movies that star Adam Sandler? No.
This scourge is much more insidious. And it’s spreading around us as we speak.
It’s a trend I refer to as the “homogenization of the ‘hood.”
My part of Halifax is made up largely of quaint little pre-fab houses - mostly bungalows - that were built around the time of WWII. Folks who have lived around here longer than I have say the houses were built for the workers contributing to the war effort.
There’s nothing particularly significant about these homes, but each is unique in its own small way. They have a kind of “retro” aesthetic and they’re still relatively cheap compared to a lot of homes, so when they go up for sale, they tend to get snapped up pretty quickly.
But with the sale of every cottage-y little home, I grow more and more disheartened. Because inevitably, here is what’s going to happen:First, the new owners will tear off the old asbestos shingles (…I know!). Then they’ll gut the place and add a storey or two. (…Okay, that makes sense.) But then – and this happens on a far too regular basis – they’ll wrap the whole darn thing in the ugliest substance known to humankind: beige vinyl siding.
These revamped studies in brown often have nothing that makes them unique. No welcoming porch. No creative focal points. Teeny little windows. In short, they are watertight boxes with no character whatsoever. Sure, these weren’t gorgeous Victorian homes to start with, but does everybody have to go with the most insipid, utilitarian exterior possible?The more of these unimaginative homes that pop up around me, the more depressed I get. Who wants to live in a neighborhood full of beige – sorry, “Sandalwood” - blandness?
I guess I shouldn’t be so judgmental. Maybe some people choose beige vinyl because it’s, like, their favourite.
But it does seem kind of ironic that just as this city is becoming more conscious of design issues and aesthetics – particularly in the downtown core - those of us in the residential neighborhoods are left to watch helplessly as our whimsical little homes are slowly becoming… well, boring.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
